32AA by Michelle Cunnah

Author:Michelle Cunnah
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: HarperCollins

A lonely Friday evening looms ahead of me and I feel like a freak. Only a week since my thirtieth birthday, and it’s already a bad year for me. I am drinking my second glass of Adam’s delicious wine and eating instant cup of noodles (just add boiling water, hey presto, dinner), because I can’t conjure up the enthusiasm to either (a) cook something, or (b) pick up the telephone and order something. Plus, I need to save all the money I can for a rental deposit.

The wine makes me think of Adam, and I can’t help but torture myself with thoughts of him and Stella having wild sex and laughing about me. I can’t believe he’d be this cruel. I can’t believe how much I miss him, despite his being a bastard ionic bonder. I’m lonely, and I want a friendly shoulder to cry on.

Sylvester and David are a no because it’s their most hectic night of the week, so they’re too busy to listen to my “poor me, why me” ramblings. I could go round and see Katy and Tom, but they need some space. Some alone time, without me (or Marion Lacy) playing third wheel. Apparently, when Katy tried to sneak home early after the MASS mothers march yesterday, Marion Lacy (and some of the mothers) followed Katy home and invited themselves to her barbecue. Something has to be done about that woman!

Tish is out with John again (via O’Malley’s, of course). That’s three times in four days. At this rate, Tish will reach her sex limit by tomorrow night. She firmly believes that after four dates, you should sleep with a guy just so that you can check out if you’re sexually compatible, and thus avoid the need to waste time and money on more dates if the sex is crap.

Oh God, what on earth will I do if she wants to bring him back here to have sex? They can’t go back to his place, on account of his mother. And the walls between her bedroom and the living room are so thin. I just can’t lie here and listen to them cavorting in the bedroom. Maybe the noise from my new vibrator will drown them out…

I could call Rachel…I should call Rachel. I really miss her…

I decide to watch a video and have some more wine to build up my courage. I decide on A Knight’s Tale, because although Heath Ledger is (but only marginally) too young for me, he is certainly easy on the eye. Plus, the actor who plays the Prince of Wales is lovely, so I keep winding forward to the bit in the film where he makes Heath a real knight, and then to the end where he kisses his pretend actress wife. Then back to the bits where the Geoffry Chaucer character is naked, because I like him, too…Plus, this might be the only chance I will get to see a naked man ever again…

I am just about to

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